Crepuscolo
by SpicedCherry
Summary: All Bella wants is to have a baby with her husband, Edward. Travel with them on their journey to becoming parents; their ultimate dream come true! Rated M; LANGUAGE AND LEMONS INCLUDED.


**I do not own any legal right to Twilight.**

**Chapter One.**

"Aunt Bella, why are you crying?"

Oh shit. I'm busted.

Turning around quickly, I saw my 4 year old niece, Veronica, perched right outside my bedroom door. Her hands were on her hips, and the expression on her face read one thing; determination.

"It's nothing, Nica. I just stubbed my toe," I lied, somewhat flawlessly. Or so I thought.

Veronica's sky blue eyes narrowed, and she sauntered on over to where I was standing. She quickly bent down to examine my feet, looking for any signs of "stubbed toes". When she didn't find any, she straightened up, with one eyebrow quirked.

"Are are lying?" Veronica asked innocently.

"C'mon," I quickly said, trying to redirect the situation. "Let's go see if Mommy and Aunt Allie are ready to go shopping," I continued, quickly swiping my eyes, in an attempt to wipe all remaining traces wetness away.

"Alright," Nica drew out. "If you say so…"

Yeah, so she was completely unconvinced.

My name is Isabella Cullen, and I cannot even pull one over on a four year old. FML.

"I am so excited! I cannot believe we are actually doing this right now!" Alice cried with a beautifully bright smile plastered across her face, as we strolled down countless aisles filled with miscellaneous baby items.

"You and Jasper are going to be amazing parents," Rosalie stated, popping her bubble gum and beginning to flip through a clothing rack of onesie's. "Our parents may be royally fucked up, but somehow Jazz and I survived," she added with a nonchalant shrug.

Jasper and Rosalie Whitlock-Hale (Rose has been better known as Rose Cullen these days) have been a huge part of my life since I was 12 years old, and their parents moved them all the way from Miami, to our small town of Forks, Washington. In fact, their parents moved them directly across the street from where I had lived with my father. When my police chief father, Charlie, found out that there was a new set of twin siblings that had moved in, he immediately sent me over to welcome them to Forks. I ended up throwing up on their front porch; Jazz thought it was hilarious, Rose thought it was disgusting, and the three of us became fast friends from that day forward, strangely enough.

The tragedy in their family happened when they turned 14, and their parents split up for good. Neither Simon Whitlock nor Lillian Hale dealt well with commitment. Marriage was not for them, therefore, when they found out they were going to become parents, they refused to marry each other under all circumstances. They spent their days fighting, and their nights fucking. Due to this, Rose and Jazz had a hard time understanding the full concept of love for the longest time, because they never had any examples to learn from.

"I hope so. I'm sure J will be great, I'm just not so sure about myself," Alice admitted, rubbing her round stomach lovingly. "I'm about to have two babies, and I've never even been around one for more than 24 hours."

"How can you even say that? Stop being an idiot, Alice," Rose huffed, throwing some sets into her shopping cart. "I'm not even going to fight you on this, because I know you can do it. I don't lie about shit, you know this. My name isn't Bella," she said pointedly, staring me down in the process.

"What!" I said defensively, holding my hands in the air. "I stubbed my toe! I didn't know that was a crime around here! Damn!"

Rose, Alice, and Veronica all looked at me with knowing looks, before giving up and resuming their shopping.

"Traitor," I mouthed to Nica, who was smiling wide with a grin that could challenge her father's, from her spot in her mother's shopping cart.

"Do you want to talk to me, Bella," Rosalie said after we dropped Alice off at her house, and put Nica down for her nap. "All bullshit aside, I know that something has been bothering you these past few weeks. We have all noticed it. Even Edward," she drew out.

We were both sitting out on her porch, and my own personal drama seemed like it would dampen the beautiful day. How do I tell my best friend, that even though I have an amazing life, I am miserable? How do I tell her that I am jealous of her and Alice, even though I have been so blessed with a perfect husband, a perfect relationship, a job I love, and people I love even more surrounding me every day?

"I'm just going through some stuff," I said lamely. "My brain is just fucking with me."

"Bella, please talk to me," she insisted.

In five, four, three, two…

"I took a pregnancy test last month and it was positive!" I blurted out quickly. I could feel every inch of my skin turning bright red.

"What?" Rose exclaimed excitedly, before throwing herself in my arms. "I have waited so long for you and E to have a baby! I am so happy for you! My Bella is going to be a Mommy!" she continued to exclaim, tears of excitement and joy running down her face.

"Rose, I'm not pregnant," I whispered, unable to look my best friend in the eye. "I thought I was. I was really excited about it too."

"What happened?" Rose mumbled, one arm wrapped around me, holding me close. Her free hand wiped the flowing tears off of her face.

Taking a deep breath, I finally confided in someone about my recent situation. "I wanted to go to the doctor before telling Edward… before telling anybody. I wanted to be absolutely sure, before I told Edward. I waited a few weeks, and just kept it to myself. When I calculated it, I should have been 6 weeks pregnant when I finally went to the doctor. But when I did, and they ran a pregnancy test, I just… wasn't," I buried myself into Rose. "They ran several more test, but still no baby. I had already miscarried."

"Did they say why it happened?"

"I honestly didn't even comprehend anything that they had said to me. After they broke my heart with the news, it was all sort of a blur. I was so convinced that I was having a baby, Rose. But what killed me the most is that they told me that there was no such thing as a false positive when taking a pregnancy test. So at one point… I was. And then, I guess it just went away…"

When I was sixteen, I lost my virginity to Edward. He was everything to me, and it was perfect. We were young, and stupid as hell. I was no virgin to taking pregnancy tests – not by a long shot. But never in any of the scares I have had in the past, had I felt so… pregnant. Or had a test tell me I was.

"Did they say that you couldn't have… you know…," Rose whispered.

"No, but -"

…

"Bella, sweetheart, I am so_ so_sorry for what happened. You and Edward deserve to have a baby. But, if they didn't say you couldn't ever have a baby, then what is the problem?"

"I don't know, I can't explain it." I admitted. "I'm just a fucking mess."

-

"Fuck Bella," Edward groaned as I continued to bounce up and down on top of him.

Grinning, I bent forward to capture his plump lips.

"You like that?" I breathed, increasing speed. God, he felt so fucking amazing.

"Hell yes, baby," he moaned, while his fingers digged into my hips, moving me quicker against him. "I'm gonna come," he warned.

"Fuck!" I squealed, falling apart above my husband, who found his release just moments after I did.

"Mmm," Edward sighed, completely satisfied as he rolled over and pulled me into his nuk. We snuggled for a few minutes before he spoke up.

"I was offered a trip to New York next month," he stated moments later, fingers lazily rubbing up and down my back.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," Edward said, and then was silent for a moment. "It will be to help start up a new hospital. It would mean a lot for my career."

I braced myself up with one arm, looking down at him. "Are you serious? That is amazing, baby!" I cried, leaning down to pepper his face with lots and lots of happy kisses.

"I would have to be gone for two months if I took it."

…

"What?" I ceased all movements… and happy kisses. "Two months? That is a long time, Edward. It's the middle of the school year. I can't just take two months away from my class and come with you."

"I know… that's why I'm not going to take it. I just wanted to be honest and let you know what is going on," he confessed, scooting off of the bed, and walking into the master bathroom.

Having a few moments to myself was very appreciated, because this was my chance. All afternoon after my confession to Rose, she had been on my ass about telling Edward about my pregnancy scare. Of course I did not want to have to keep something from him, but how do I tell him that I've already kept it from him for the past 2 weeks, not to mention the 6 weeks I thought I actually_ was_pregnant?

When Edward emerged from the bathroom, I squeezed my eyes shut and spoke before I could stop myself. According to Rose, I would feel so much better if I did.

"I thought I was pregnant – that we were finally going to have a baby, but before you get excited, we're not, and I am so so so sorry, baby, but…"

"Wait!" Edward said, holding up one of his hands in the air. "You thought we were going to have a baby?" he asked, with a bright smile stretched across his face.

"Yeah," I said quietly. "I thought that I was pregnant since St. Patrick's Day. Well… that is, until 2 weeks ago, when I went to the doctor and they told me I wasn't."

It's pretty pathetic that I am 24 years old, and afraid to look at my own husband. Jeesh!

Edward was quiet for a moment. "8 weeks? You have been keeping this to yourself for 8 weeks?"

"Yes, and I'm sorry, I just-"

"You just what, Bella?" Edward said angrily.

"I just wanted to make it perfect. I wanted to be 100% sure before telling you. And then how was I supposed to tell you that I was so heartbroken about not having a baby, when everyone we know and love is preparing for Alice and Jasper's babies to be born? I didn't want to bring you down with me. I wish I could feel happier for Allie and J. Hell; I was ecstatic 8 fucking weeks ago. And I remember what it was like when Nica was born, and I instantly loved her so damn much. And God… I don't think you know just how shitty I feel about all of this."

Edward took in a deep breath, before walking towards our bedroom door. "You're wrong, Bella. Imagine how shitty I feel, knowing that my wife felt like she couldn't talk to me for 2 fucking months. And I had every right to know that you had a miscarriage."

By this time, I sat in our bed crying my eyes out like a little baby. And I should have, too. I was a horrible person, and I hurt the most important person in my life. There was nothing I could say at this point to change that. I royally fucked this up.

"I'll be back soon. I can't sleep now," Edward grumbled, before exiting our bedroom.

I flopped back down into our bed, knowing that the situation deserves more than just another FML.

**There it is. Considering I never know when I have free time to write, I pre-wrote the first few chapters, so that you all can have updates.**

**Know this, my versions of Bella and Edward can never stay mad at each other. Ever. I just wish this was the same for my husband and I.**

**Thanks for reading!**  
**-Micol**


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